Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
