she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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