Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
smell my finger.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
