So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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