He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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