Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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