non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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