Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This baby is an asshole
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
