Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize