I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
