Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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