yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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