ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
