do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize