He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
