I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize