i jhust puked up my retainher.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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