dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
