How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
