she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Alive.
So much puke
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
