OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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