just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize