he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Randomize
