moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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