Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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