just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
