i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
