I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
