So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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