Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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