Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
