ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
it's like iHOP with fire
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Randomize
