Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize