billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
