Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
