he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
