so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
