I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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