someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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