you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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