Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Randomize
