Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
