her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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