so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
