You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
