If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
