My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
