Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Houston, we have a blender
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
