So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
