Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
