Dual....:-)
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
