it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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