Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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