Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
