Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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