i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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