you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
