They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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