How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
