Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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