The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
one might say we're banned from that church
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
