More tranny stories later!
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
