I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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