I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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