Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
