I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
