Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
