he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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