would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize