I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
