Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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