do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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