She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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