TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
